Date:
Dec 18, 2008 12:02 PM
Subject: No Subject
Body:
i think your amazing... do you swallow or what... you should send me some nude, i think your hott.
If by "swallow", you mean "ignore nasty fuckin' dudes who send me disgusting messages on Myspace", then absolutely. I love how you tell me what I should do; obviously you, a complete stranger, know what's best for me. And apparently what's best for me is stripping down and taking naked pictures of myself...if I haven't done it for anyone else, why the HELL would I do it for you?? Just because you think I'm "hott" and "amazing"? This is just disgusting, I can't even continue.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
XEXXY
Date:
Dec 13, 2008 9:20 PM
Subject:
XEXXY
Body:
HEY XEXXY WAT U UP 2 MAMI
Well, I'm just xatching xome xelevision....
*shakes head*
Dec 13, 2008 9:20 PM
Subject:
XEXXY
Body:
HEY XEXXY WAT U UP 2 MAMI
Well, I'm just xatching xome xelevision....
*shakes head*
Thursday, November 20, 2008
10 inch's llol
hey babe,, what are you up too sexy, ready to meet a guy to wear you out sexy??
im 24
6ft
mixed
170lbs
inshape
very goodlooking
10 inch's llol
im not in to game playing so if we talk the reason is to meet or contact on ph babe,, i have and meet girls from off here.. im really looking forward to talking or meeting you babe =)
Rockstar
Good. Lord. First of all, you don't even have enough balls to sign your real name or use a real picture, you used a picture of a shitty guitar and amp. Unless you string your face, I'm pretty sure that's not what you look like. For a guy who doesn't even post pictures of himself, you're pretty confident about your physical appearance, which would raise a red flag for any intelligent girl. The 10 inches thing? COME ON DUDE!!!!!! Seriously???? That's just....really really reallllllly sad. It's like you're trying to reassure me that you're attractive, yet you can't even show your face. And if you're trying to pick up a girl, the best way to do it is NOT to talk about the other girls you've creeped on. Just a little tip.
im 24
6ft
mixed
170lbs
inshape
very goodlooking
10 inch's llol
im not in to game playing so if we talk the reason is to meet or contact on ph babe,, i have and meet girls from off here.. im really looking forward to talking or meeting you babe =)
Rockstar
Good. Lord. First of all, you don't even have enough balls to sign your real name or use a real picture, you used a picture of a shitty guitar and amp. Unless you string your face, I'm pretty sure that's not what you look like. For a guy who doesn't even post pictures of himself, you're pretty confident about your physical appearance, which would raise a red flag for any intelligent girl. The 10 inches thing? COME ON DUDE!!!!!! Seriously???? That's just....really really reallllllly sad. It's like you're trying to reassure me that you're attractive, yet you can't even show your face. And if you're trying to pick up a girl, the best way to do it is NOT to talk about the other girls you've creeped on. Just a little tip.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
the stalker that walks awkward
Date:
Oct 15, 2008 12:35 PM
Subject: Yo
Body:
Hey baby, they call me Boogie Nights, the stalker that walks awkward Stick figure, with a dick bigger than Mark Wahlberg.
What's it take to get with you?
First of all, it takes more than a really bizarre and random message, and if this is good rhyming, I must be way out of the loop because not only does this message not even make sense, it barely rhymes or flows at all...I know you're not Run DMC or anything, but come on...there are resources out there for this kind of shit. Rhyming dictionaries, thesauruses, psychiatrists, you name it.
P.S. Vote Obama.
Oct 15, 2008 12:35 PM
Subject: Yo
Body:
Hey baby, they call me Boogie Nights, the stalker that walks awkward Stick figure, with a dick bigger than Mark Wahlberg.
What's it take to get with you?
First of all, it takes more than a really bizarre and random message, and if this is good rhyming, I must be way out of the loop because not only does this message not even make sense, it barely rhymes or flows at all...I know you're not Run DMC or anything, but come on...there are resources out there for this kind of shit. Rhyming dictionaries, thesauruses, psychiatrists, you name it.
P.S. Vote Obama.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I was a hugh "DEADHEAD"
Date:
Oct 21, 2008 6:45 PM
Subject: Hey beautiful!!!
Body:
Hey Erin,
Thanks for the add. I read most of ur profile and I can't believe ur music taste. It is like a carbon copy of mine!!! I was a hugh "DEADHEAD" in college. I toured for 4 years. And Avenged Sevenfold is also amazing. I love it!!
Anyway you are very cute and we actually have a lot in common. By the way, why do you feel unappreciated? Hit me up when u can.
Luv Ya,
Mike
This message seems harmless enough, but unfortunately, you didn't inspect my profile enough. If you had, you'd have noticed that we literally have none of the same bands on our music lists...I'm not even a Grateful Dead fan! Where the hell did you pull this shit out of? I'm sure you were desperately trying to establish some common ground, but do your research please. And also, don't say "Luv Ya".
Oct 21, 2008 6:45 PM
Subject: Hey beautiful!!!
Body:
Hey Erin,
Thanks for the add. I read most of ur profile and I can't believe ur music taste. It is like a carbon copy of mine!!! I was a hugh "DEADHEAD" in college. I toured for 4 years. And Avenged Sevenfold is also amazing. I love it!!
Anyway you are very cute and we actually have a lot in common. By the way, why do you feel unappreciated? Hit me up when u can.
Luv Ya,
Mike
This message seems harmless enough, but unfortunately, you didn't inspect my profile enough. If you had, you'd have noticed that we literally have none of the same bands on our music lists...I'm not even a Grateful Dead fan! Where the hell did you pull this shit out of? I'm sure you were desperately trying to establish some common ground, but do your research please. And also, don't say "Luv Ya".
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
board games
Date:
Oct 15, 2008 12:43 PM
Subject: hi
Body:
u like Avenged Sevenfold
Date:
Oct 16, 2008 3:56 PM
Subject: No Subject
Body:
do you like to play board games
Date:
Oct 15, 2008 10:25 PM
Subject: Hey erin
Body:
When someone lives in hollywood how does it feel ?
Date:
Oct 21, 2008 1:54 PM
Subject: hey
Body:
you into casual sex with strangers
Yes, not really, fuckin' awesome, and hell no, respectively.
Oct 15, 2008 12:43 PM
Subject: hi
Body:
u like Avenged Sevenfold
Date:
Oct 16, 2008 3:56 PM
Subject: No Subject
Body:
do you like to play board games
Date:
Oct 15, 2008 10:25 PM
Subject: Hey erin
Body:
When someone lives in hollywood how does it feel ?
Date:
Oct 21, 2008 1:54 PM
Subject: hey
Body:
you into casual sex with strangers
Yes, not really, fuckin' awesome, and hell no, respectively.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
i put on my ex girls gstring
Date:
Oct 18, 2008 9:47 PM
Subject: No Subject
Body:
heyyy whatss up!! I think you are pretty much one of the cutest girls ive ever seen:) haha im seriousssss hahha. im kinda wasted right now and i put on my ex girls gstring bikkini and im wearing it now hahaha. i took a pic wanna see?? hahaha
Mike
First of all, for the love of god, no. Second of all, this is what drunk scene kid typing looks like. Third, if this is your way of flirting, here's a tip: don't ever do this again. Your idea of fun is to get fucked up at home and put on g-strings? FYI, most girls aren't turned on by that. Maybe I'm not your type, if you get my drift...
Oct 18, 2008 9:47 PM
Subject: No Subject
Body:
heyyy whatss up!! I think you are pretty much one of the cutest girls ive ever seen:) haha im seriousssss hahha. im kinda wasted right now and i put on my ex girls gstring bikkini and im wearing it now hahaha. i took a pic wanna see?? hahaha
Mike
First of all, for the love of god, no. Second of all, this is what drunk scene kid typing looks like. Third, if this is your way of flirting, here's a tip: don't ever do this again. Your idea of fun is to get fucked up at home and put on g-strings? FYI, most girls aren't turned on by that. Maybe I'm not your type, if you get my drift...
Monday, October 13, 2008
so....
Date:
Apr 28, 2008 10:20 AM
Subject: so....
Body:
u ready to have that lil body rocked?
Yes. Yes I am. How did you know? It looks like you're the man for the job, right? Thank GOD someone came along, because I was really close to sticking an "I need my lil body rocked" ad in the personals, but now I don't have to! Hooray! God, I love a man who can read my mind.
Apr 28, 2008 10:20 AM
Subject: so....
Body:
u ready to have that lil body rocked?
Yes. Yes I am. How did you know? It looks like you're the man for the job, right? Thank GOD someone came along, because I was really close to sticking an "I need my lil body rocked" ad in the personals, but now I don't have to! Hooray! God, I love a man who can read my mind.
Friday, October 10, 2008
what colour are your toenails painted today
Date:
Sep 22, 2008 11:50 AM
Subject: No Subject
Body:
your beautiful!! what colour are your toenails painted today and do
you wear toe rings at all?
w/b
Woah, all the foot fetish freaks came out of the woodwork, didn't they? It's just really interesting that ALL you are interested in is how I accessorize my feet...
And for the record, hot pink and yes, respectively.
Sep 22, 2008 11:50 AM
Subject: No Subject
Body:
your beautiful!! what colour are your toenails painted today and do
you wear toe rings at all?
w/b
Woah, all the foot fetish freaks came out of the woodwork, didn't they? It's just really interesting that ALL you are interested in is how I accessorize my feet...
And for the record, hot pink and yes, respectively.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
can i have some
Date:
Jul 24, 2008 3:18 PM
Subject: RE: hi
Body:
your sexy can i have some
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Erin Michelle
Date: Jul 24, 2008 3:14 PM
My hot what?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Anonymous
Date: Jul 24, 2008 2:48 PM
whats going on ? your hot
You'll never get it.
Jul 24, 2008 3:18 PM
Subject: RE: hi
Body:
your sexy can i have some
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Erin Michelle
Date: Jul 24, 2008 3:14 PM
My hot what?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Anonymous
Date: Jul 24, 2008 2:48 PM
whats going on ? your hot
You'll never get it.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Born to push you around
Date:
Sep 23, 2008 1:55 PM
Subject: Born to push you around
Body:
Born to push you around
You better just stay down
You pull away
He hits the flesh
You hit the ground
Mouths so full of lies
Tend to black your eyes
Just keep them closed
Keep praying
Just keep waiting
Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
but the sunshine never comes
No the sunshine never comes
Push you cross that line
Just stay down this time
Hide in yourself
Crawl in yourself
You'll have your time
God I'll make them pay
Take it back one day
I'll end this day
I'll splatter color on this grave
Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
but the sunshine never comes
No the sunshine never comes
Love is a four letter word
And never spoken here
Love is a four letter word
Here in this prison
I suffer this no longer
I put it into
This I swear!
This I swear!
The sun will shine
This I swear!
This I swear!
This I swear!
I don't like Metallica. And like, if you're going to send me song lyrics, you couldn't have chosen ones that made a little more sense? Since I don't know you, none of these lyrics are even applicable to the lack of relationship we have. You should have titled it, "Born to Delete This Message".
Sep 23, 2008 1:55 PM
Subject: Born to push you around
Body:
Born to push you around
You better just stay down
You pull away
He hits the flesh
You hit the ground
Mouths so full of lies
Tend to black your eyes
Just keep them closed
Keep praying
Just keep waiting
Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
but the sunshine never comes
No the sunshine never comes
Push you cross that line
Just stay down this time
Hide in yourself
Crawl in yourself
You'll have your time
God I'll make them pay
Take it back one day
I'll end this day
I'll splatter color on this grave
Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
but the sunshine never comes
No the sunshine never comes
Love is a four letter word
And never spoken here
Love is a four letter word
Here in this prison
I suffer this no longer
I put it into
This I swear!
This I swear!
The sun will shine
This I swear!
This I swear!
This I swear!
I don't like Metallica. And like, if you're going to send me song lyrics, you couldn't have chosen ones that made a little more sense? Since I don't know you, none of these lyrics are even applicable to the lack of relationship we have. You should have titled it, "Born to Delete This Message".
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I'LL HELP U PAY FOR GAS
Date:
Sep 23, 2008 12:07 PM
Subject: HEY GORGEOUS
Body:
HOW ARE YOU LONG TIME NO TALK I WOULD LOVE TO GET TO KNOW U BETTER GIVE ME A CALL MY NUMBER IS 760- 366- XXXX CALL ANYTIME I'LL HELP U PAY FOR GAS SO WE CAN KICK IT I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE U ON A DATE HIT ME UP XOXOXOXOXOXO
"Long time no talk"? I don't believe we've EVER talked...which probably explains the "I WOULD LOVE TO GET TO KNOW U BETTER". So you want to take me on a date, but I have to drive? And you'll chip in for gas? That just sounds kinda weird, to be honest. This whole message looks like you're shouting at me, first of all, and it's just a little hard to deceipher. Ahhhhh I don't know I can't look at it anymore.
Sep 23, 2008 12:07 PM
Subject: HEY GORGEOUS
Body:
HOW ARE YOU LONG TIME NO TALK I WOULD LOVE TO GET TO KNOW U BETTER GIVE ME A CALL MY NUMBER IS 760- 366- XXXX CALL ANYTIME I'LL HELP U PAY FOR GAS SO WE CAN KICK IT I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE U ON A DATE HIT ME UP XOXOXOXOXOXO
"Long time no talk"? I don't believe we've EVER talked...which probably explains the "I WOULD LOVE TO GET TO KNOW U BETTER". So you want to take me on a date, but I have to drive? And you'll chip in for gas? That just sounds kinda weird, to be honest. This whole message looks like you're shouting at me, first of all, and it's just a little hard to deceipher. Ahhhhh I don't know I can't look at it anymore.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
want to help a student
Date:
Sep 22, 2008 5:11 PM
Subject: No Subject
Body:
want to help a student by
acting in a short film
to night?
In L.A.
dowtown
Sketchy (n.):
1) Someone or something that just isn't right.
2) The feeling you get the morning after using a lot of drugs, most commonly associated with ecstasy.
3) Something unsafe.
4) Someone or something that gives off a bad feeling.
I'm sure this message is more than innocent, but you've got to think about what you're asking. You're asking a young girl to meet you, a stranger, in downtown Los Angeles, at night? To "act in a short film"? I hope you found your starlet...probably in a back alley somewhere...
Sep 22, 2008 5:11 PM
Subject: No Subject
Body:
want to help a student by
acting in a short film
to night?
In L.A.
dowtown
Sketchy (n.):
1) Someone or something that just isn't right.
2) The feeling you get the morning after using a lot of drugs, most commonly associated with ecstasy.
3) Something unsafe.
4) Someone or something that gives off a bad feeling.
I'm sure this message is more than innocent, but you've got to think about what you're asking. You're asking a young girl to meet you, a stranger, in downtown Los Angeles, at night? To "act in a short film"? I hope you found your starlet...probably in a back alley somewhere...
you're a mess but that's ok!
Date:
Aug 11, 2008 10:19 AM
Subject: hiss
Body:
howdy hiya hey!
First off, I like your style! you're a mess but that's ok! jk. I stumbled upon your profile and decided to waste mere minutes on this silly thing. At any rate, I am moving to the LA area for this new band w/ Rob from Anthrax and Roy from Stonesour and I'm looking to meet new people. I know this is totally hit or miss but I'm a gambling man. What can I say!? I actually think we may have much in common. Hit me back.
hd
Wow....you wanna pick up those names you just dropped? Not that impressive, unfortunately. And thanks for calling me a mess, I really appreciate it; that's exactly the first thing a girl wants to hear from a guy trying to hit on her. And dude, don't even lie and pretend you think Myspace is a "silly thing"...you must realize it is literally the only thing that might make people come to your new band's shows? The best networking tool in the entire world, the platform that has transformed promotion and taken it to a whole new level, the one thing that might give your band the slightest chance of making it, is a "silly thing"? You, good sir, need to get your priorities in order. Instead of wasting your time writing to random girls on this thing, why don't you start building a fanbase for your amazing new band with Rob from Anthrax and Roy from Stonesour. Hit me up when your album goes platinum....then we'll talk.
Aug 11, 2008 10:19 AM
Subject: hiss
Body:
howdy hiya hey!
First off, I like your style! you're a mess but that's ok! jk. I stumbled upon your profile and decided to waste mere minutes on this silly thing. At any rate, I am moving to the LA area for this new band w/ Rob from Anthrax and Roy from Stonesour and I'm looking to meet new people. I know this is totally hit or miss but I'm a gambling man. What can I say!? I actually think we may have much in common. Hit me back.
hd
Wow....you wanna pick up those names you just dropped? Not that impressive, unfortunately. And thanks for calling me a mess, I really appreciate it; that's exactly the first thing a girl wants to hear from a guy trying to hit on her. And dude, don't even lie and pretend you think Myspace is a "silly thing"...you must realize it is literally the only thing that might make people come to your new band's shows? The best networking tool in the entire world, the platform that has transformed promotion and taken it to a whole new level, the one thing that might give your band the slightest chance of making it, is a "silly thing"? You, good sir, need to get your priorities in order. Instead of wasting your time writing to random girls on this thing, why don't you start building a fanbase for your amazing new band with Rob from Anthrax and Roy from Stonesour. Hit me up when your album goes platinum....then we'll talk.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
$250 per hour
Date:
Aug 7, 2008 10:54 AM
Subject: wow
Body:
Baby there is no reason why u shouldn't be making more than 30k...let me help u. I can get u started at $250 per hour.
R U interested???
Good lord, no.
Aug 7, 2008 10:54 AM
Subject: wow
Body:
Baby there is no reason why u shouldn't be making more than 30k...let me help u. I can get u started at $250 per hour.
R U interested???
Good lord, no.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
tell us if yr interested
Date: Jul 28, 2008 5:04 PM
Subject: hey
Body:
hii, thanks much for the add... check out our page and tell us if yr interested ;) hope to hear from u soon gorgeous
That's what I get for putting 'Swinger' on my profile. Ironically, this isn't the first message I've gotten from a couple looking to "expand their sexual boundaries"...but honestly, is this how you go about trying to find a third party to invite into your love nest? Myspace??? Yikes...I mean hey, I can appreciate a hot girl as much as anyone else, but this is just a little too random for me...and I know you guys got mad at me when I didn't respond, but to be honest, I don't add people with the intention of talking to all of them personally...so my deepest apologies. I probably wasn't the "one", anyway.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
dont mean I'm a criminal lol
Date:
Feb 22, 2006 5:38 PM
Subject:
Hey
Body:
Hey mama! Is dat really u in that pic or a kute friend of urs.....lol nah I'm just joken....I saw ur profile and u seem like u mite make a good friend, but u gotta be almost as cool as me lol....u cud be sumbody I can hang out wit, thats if u think u can handle a guy like me....just get at me...and just becuz I'm black dont mean I'm a criminal lol and plz dont be intimidated by my good looks, hot body and nice car....
SON! How DARE you write these things to young ladies on MySpace. How inappropriate! You are GROUNDED, young man! Oh, I'm not your mother? My mistake. I guess I was just confused when you called me "mama". If you're as "balla" as you think you are, why aren't the girls swarming all over you? Why do you have to go out of your way to scope them out online and initiate conversation? And to be honest, guys who brag about their cars are extremely lame. I think the last few guys I dated didn't even HAVE cars, let alone nice ones - but I guess some girls are into that, so start lookin' elsewhere, homeboy.
Feb 22, 2006 5:38 PM
Subject:
Hey
Body:
Hey mama! Is dat really u in that pic or a kute friend of urs.....lol nah I'm just joken....I saw ur profile and u seem like u mite make a good friend, but u gotta be almost as cool as me lol....u cud be sumbody I can hang out wit, thats if u think u can handle a guy like me....just get at me...and just becuz I'm black dont mean I'm a criminal lol and plz dont be intimidated by my good looks, hot body and nice car....
SON! How DARE you write these things to young ladies on MySpace. How inappropriate! You are GROUNDED, young man! Oh, I'm not your mother? My mistake. I guess I was just confused when you called me "mama". If you're as "balla" as you think you are, why aren't the girls swarming all over you? Why do you have to go out of your way to scope them out online and initiate conversation? And to be honest, guys who brag about their cars are extremely lame. I think the last few guys I dated didn't even HAVE cars, let alone nice ones - but I guess some girls are into that, so start lookin' elsewhere, homeboy.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
i am lachgar
Date:
Sep 18, 2008 7:48 PM
Subject: hi how are you?
Body:
i am lachgar i am new here you are my choice i like you
Oh, okay "Lachgar", is that how it works? Being so new, you might want to look into what Myspace actually IS. It's NOT a mail-order bride service, so why don't you crawl back inside the World of Warcraft and resume your life in the enchanted forest with the other dragons and trolls and elves and things of that sort. You can't just click "browse" and choose whoever you want....if only life were that easy. Speaking of easy, I am not. So you'd best be off.
Sep 18, 2008 7:48 PM
Subject: hi how are you?
Body:
i am lachgar i am new here you are my choice i like you
Oh, okay "Lachgar", is that how it works? Being so new, you might want to look into what Myspace actually IS. It's NOT a mail-order bride service, so why don't you crawl back inside the World of Warcraft and resume your life in the enchanted forest with the other dragons and trolls and elves and things of that sort. You can't just click "browse" and choose whoever you want....if only life were that easy. Speaking of easy, I am not. So you'd best be off.
Friday, September 19, 2008
... mmm mashed potatoes.....
Date:
Apr 11, 2006 8:01 PM
Subject:eRiN... ... ... :}
Body:
hey "thuggy" aka erin .. you don't mind if I call you that, do you ?? :P so what are you up to today? (tuesday) it's my day off from work ! i actually still need to do my taxes for this year -doh! i'm such a procrastinator :( it shouldn't take long at all though. so what are you doing in cloud cukoo today? any plans ? let's do something ! go to the arclight or get something to eat ... mmm i've been craving the woordranch ... mmm mashed potatoes..... i don't think you live to far from me, in korea town/silverlake area of los angeles; right ? anyways, i don't really have any plans, so we should do something, otherwise i'll be bored ! (and you don't want that on your conscience, right ??)
brian
Now, Brian, this wouldn't be such an odd message if I knew you in some way, shape or form. But since I have no idea who you are, it's just a little weird. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but why should I feel guilty for not dropping everything I'm doing to entertain a complete stranger for an entire afternoon? Cloud Cuckoo? What the hell does that mean? Are you suggesting I'm flighty or high? Well, most likely the latter, but don't try and insinuate that I'm somewhat insane. If you're bored, maybe you should get started on those taxes.
Apr 11, 2006 8:01 PM
Subject:eRiN... ... ... :}
Body:
hey "thuggy" aka erin .. you don't mind if I call you that, do you ?? :P so what are you up to today? (tuesday) it's my day off from work ! i actually still need to do my taxes for this year -doh! i'm such a procrastinator :( it shouldn't take long at all though. so what are you doing in cloud cukoo today? any plans ? let's do something ! go to the arclight or get something to eat ... mmm i've been craving the woordranch ... mmm mashed potatoes..... i don't think you live to far from me, in korea town/silverlake area of los angeles; right ? anyways, i don't really have any plans, so we should do something, otherwise i'll be bored ! (and you don't want that on your conscience, right ??)
brian
Now, Brian, this wouldn't be such an odd message if I knew you in some way, shape or form. But since I have no idea who you are, it's just a little weird. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but why should I feel guilty for not dropping everything I'm doing to entertain a complete stranger for an entire afternoon? Cloud Cuckoo? What the hell does that mean? Are you suggesting I'm flighty or high? Well, most likely the latter, but don't try and insinuate that I'm somewhat insane. If you're bored, maybe you should get started on those taxes.
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