Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I was a hugh "DEADHEAD"

Date:
Oct 21, 2008 6:45 PM

Subject: Hey beautiful!!!

Body:
Hey Erin,
Thanks for the add. I read most of ur profile and I can't believe ur music taste. It is like a carbon copy of mine!!! I was a hugh "DEADHEAD" in college. I toured for 4 years. And Avenged Sevenfold is also amazing. I love it!!
Anyway you are very cute and we actually have a lot in common. By the way, why do you feel unappreciated? Hit me up when u can.
Luv Ya,
Mike


This message seems harmless enough, but unfortunately, you didn't inspect my profile enough. If you had, you'd have noticed that we literally have none of the same bands on our music lists...I'm not even a Grateful Dead fan! Where the hell did you pull this shit out of? I'm sure you were desperately trying to establish some common ground, but do your research please. And also, don't say "Luv Ya".

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

board games

Date:
Oct 15, 2008 12:43 PM

Subject: hi

Body:
u like Avenged Sevenfold



Date:
Oct 16, 2008 3:56 PM

Subject: No Subject

Body:
do you like to play board games



Date:
Oct 15, 2008 10:25 PM

Subject: Hey erin

Body:
When someone lives in hollywood how does it feel ?


Date:
Oct 21, 2008 1:54 PM

Subject: hey

Body:
you into casual sex with strangers




Yes, not really, fuckin' awesome, and hell no, respectively.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

i put on my ex girls gstring

Date:
Oct 18, 2008 9:47 PM

Subject: No Subject

Body:
heyyy whatss up!! I think you are pretty much one of the cutest girls ive ever seen:) haha im seriousssss hahha. im kinda wasted right now and i put on my ex girls gstring bikkini and im wearing it now hahaha. i took a pic wanna see?? hahaha

Mike



First of all, for the love of god, no. Second of all, this is what drunk scene kid typing looks like. Third, if this is your way of flirting, here's a tip: don't ever do this again. Your idea of fun is to get fucked up at home and put on g-strings? FYI, most girls aren't turned on by that. Maybe I'm not your type, if you get my drift...

Monday, October 13, 2008

so....

Date:
Apr 28, 2008 10:20 AM


Subject: so....

Body:
u ready to have that lil body rocked?



Yes. Yes I am. How did you know? It looks like you're the man for the job, right? Thank GOD someone came along, because I was really close to sticking an "I need my lil body rocked" ad in the personals, but now I don't have to! Hooray! God, I love a man who can read my mind.

Friday, October 10, 2008

r u rich?

Date:
Oct 8, 2008 11:30 AM

Subject: hi

Body:
r u rich?



I wish.

what colour are your toenails painted today

Date:
Sep 22, 2008 11:50 AM

Subject: No Subject

Body:
your beautiful!! what colour are your toenails painted today and do

you wear toe rings at all?

w/b



Woah, all the foot fetish freaks came out of the woodwork, didn't they? It's just really interesting that ALL you are interested in is how I accessorize my feet...

And for the record, hot pink and yes, respectively.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

can i have some

Date:
Jul 24, 2008 3:18 PM

Subject: RE: hi

Body:

your sexy can i have some
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Erin Michelle
Date: Jul 24, 2008 3:14 PM


My hot what?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Anonymous
Date: Jul 24, 2008 2:48 PM


whats going on ? your hot




You'll never get it.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Born to push you around

Date:
Sep 23, 2008 1:55 PM

Subject: Born to push you around

Body:
Born to push you around
You better just stay down
You pull away
He hits the flesh
You hit the ground
Mouths so full of lies
Tend to black your eyes
Just keep them closed
Keep praying
Just keep waiting

Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
but the sunshine never comes
No the sunshine never comes

Push you cross that line
Just stay down this time
Hide in yourself
Crawl in yourself
You'll have your time
God I'll make them pay
Take it back one day
I'll end this day
I'll splatter color on this grave

Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
but the sunshine never comes
No the sunshine never comes

Love is a four letter word
And never spoken here
Love is a four letter word
Here in this prison
I suffer this no longer
I put it into
This I swear!
This I swear!
The sun will shine
This I swear!
This I swear!
This I swear!


I don't like Metallica. And like, if you're going to send me song lyrics, you couldn't have chosen ones that made a little more sense? Since I don't know you, none of these lyrics are even applicable to the lack of relationship we have. You should have titled it, "Born to Delete This Message".

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I'LL HELP U PAY FOR GAS

Date:
Sep 23, 2008 12:07 PM

Subject: HEY GORGEOUS

Body:
HOW ARE YOU LONG TIME NO TALK I WOULD LOVE TO GET TO KNOW U BETTER GIVE ME A CALL MY NUMBER IS 760- 366- XXXX CALL ANYTIME I'LL HELP U PAY FOR GAS SO WE CAN KICK IT I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE U ON A DATE HIT ME UP XOXOXOXOXOXO


"Long time no talk"? I don't believe we've EVER talked...which probably explains the "I WOULD LOVE TO GET TO KNOW U BETTER". So you want to take me on a date, but I have to drive? And you'll chip in for gas? That just sounds kinda weird, to be honest. This whole message looks like you're shouting at me, first of all, and it's just a little hard to deceipher. Ahhhhh I don't know I can't look at it anymore.